‘My heart breaks’: A Gazan mother’s account of a family torn apart by Israel's genocide

After leaving Gaza so her daughter Qamar could receive medical treatment, Palestinian mother Huda Al-Kurdi is now living in the United States (US) with her two children, including Qamar and her son Omar.

The need for treatment came after Qamar was seriously injured in an Israeli attack on 4 December 2023, the day she turned six. Her leg was amputated about a week later, on 12 December, after a lack of necessary treatment and medication led to severe infections.

"The amputation was not the result of the critical injury but of the lack of necessary treatment and medication, which led to severe infections in the leg. We waited more than a year for a medical evacuation that would allow Qamar to receive treatment," Huda tells The New Arab.

In sharing this, Huda notes that while Qamar was eventually able to leave Gaza and receive the treatment she needed, her six-year-old daughter Taleen, who was also injured in the attack, was not allowed to leave with them and remains in Gaza with her father.

What happened in Gaza

To understand the extent of what Huda and her children went through, Huda first recalls their life in Gaza before Israel’s genocide.

Like many families in Gaza, Huda lived a relatively stable life with her husband and their three children in Jabalia, northern Gaza. She had specialised in mathematics, while her husband studied law at the Islamic University of Gaza, but neither worked in their fields because of unemployment and the Israeli blockade.

After the genocide began, Huda and her family were forced to flee to one of the shelters run by the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees (UNRWA) because of the heavy bombardment. They remained there for about four months.

However, overcrowding and the lack of privacy forced her to return home from time to time to cook or collect some belongings. It was during one of these visits that Huda was with her sister and their children when indiscriminate bombardment began targeting her home and neighbouring houses.

This took place during the first ground invasion of Jabalia in 2023.

"The tanks began shelling homes and everywhere indiscriminately, in an attempt to push residents to leave, leaving them to their fate and what was destined for them," Huda says.

She continues: "When the first shell hit, I did not understand what was happening, but after about the third shell, I realised that we were being bombed. Screaming filled the air, and then I began to feel burns on my body. I had been injured in my back."

As the bombardment continued, Huda pulled her son and daughter Taleen from beneath the rubble, screaming at the top of her voice.

"I do not know how I carried them and got them out. Taleen had lost consciousness in my arms because of her head injury, and for a moment I thought she had been killed. Residents rushed to help me, so they took Taleen, while I returned to the building to rescue Qamar, who had been seriously injured. I pulled her out with one hand and carried her leg with the other, as it had not yet completely separated from her body," she says.

The ongoing Israeli bombardment prevented ambulances from reaching the area, Huda says. Residents tried to help the survivors and transport them to hospitals using a cart and a horse.

Huda's sister and her children were also injured, and one of them later died from his wounds.

Immediately after the injury, Huda was separated from her daughter Qamar, who remained with her father at Al-Awda Hospital, while Huda accompanied her two children, Omar and Taleen, at Kamal Adwan Hospital in northern Gaza.

The hospitals were under siege at the time, and some were bombed. Huda recalls how her husband lost a lot of weight, as only small quantities of food were allowed into hospitals, with priority given to the wounded.

It was during this period that Qamar's condition deteriorated. Doctors were forced to amputate Qamar's leg because of a lack of medical supplies, as Israel does not allow many essential materials to enter, citing dual-use concerns.

Huda describes how Qamar's condition deteriorated after her leg was amputated and how her body became frail.

"Qamar's condition worsened because there was no physiotherapy, or even crutches or a wheelchair, and there were no resources in the north as a result of the war and blockade. After months, the muscle in her amputated leg weakened, as did her healthy leg," she says.

Looking back on what happened, Huda says, "We saw a lot and went through a lot, and perhaps we became accustomed to it. I was surprised when I began psychological treatment and was told that if we did not feel like talking, we did not have to. But I wanted to tell our stories, even though they are difficult to hear."

New beginnings

As the situation in northern Gaza became more difficult, Huda was forced to flee again with her three children from the north to the south, without their father this time, fearing that he might be detained and arrested.

The truce that began in January 2025 and lasted until March helped facilitate Huda's departure with Qamar and Omar through the Rafah crossing as part of a medical evacuation in February, with the help of Heal Palestine, a non-profit organisation registered in the US that provides urgent relief and long-term support to Palestinian children and families inside and outside Palestine, including assistance with medical evacuations.

As Huda puts it, the evacuation came after more than a year of waiting for Qamar to receive treatment outside Gaza, with the wider medical evacuation process remaining slow despite an increase in evacuations since the ceasefire agreement, as patients are often sent to countries in the region rather than countries with greater treatment capabilities, particularly for complex cases.

The US has received only a few dozen of these cases, and there are no official statistics on the matter. Although independent humanitarian organisations have covered the costs of Palestinians' treatment and accommodation, rather than the US government, Washington decided in August to stop issuing visas to Palestinians for medical evacuations, without providing any "justification," making Qamar and her family among the few "fortunate" ones.

Upon reflection, Huda notes that leaving Gaza brought Qamar closer to the treatment she needed, but also meant being separated from her husband and daughter.

Healing begins

Going into further detail about the journey to the US, Huda recalls that arriving at a New Jersey airport was not free from bureaucracy, questioning and lengthy checks.

Despite this, she felt relief when she left and saw members of Heal Palestine, the host organisation, as well as members of the Palestinian community and supporters of Palestinian rights waiting to receive them, carrying gifts for the children.

The arrival in the US marked the beginning of a new stage centred around treatment. Huda explains that their lives are filled with doctors' appointments, surgeries, and physical and psychological therapy.

Huda says she is grateful for being able to have Qamar treated, as well as for the attention of the community and the organisation and everyone's commitment to supporting them.

Alongside her treatment, Qamar has also joined a school there and taken part in a summer camp, activities and events, as well as studying a Palestinian curriculum provided by Heal Palestine online.

But the new surroundings have not erased what Qamar experienced in Gaza. Asked whether Qamar remembers the incident, Huda says her daughter suffers from insomnia that is difficult to overcome.

Although her condition has improved significantly, she remains affected by the trauma. Huda says, "For example, Qamar was terrified some time ago because she could not distinguish the sound of thunder from the sound of bombardment.

"I try to strengthen her self-confidence so that she can accept her situation without feeling inadequate because she has lost her leg. But ultimately, she is a child who does not understand the meaning of 'fate and destiny'. She understands us when we tell her that her leg went ahead of her to heaven. But this is not easy at all."

Memories, separation and life in two worlds

The effects of the genocide have not been limited to Qamar's physical injuries. Huda says she initially did not realise that she needed psychological treatment to deal with all the trauma she had experienced.

She also continues to carry the memories of what happened to her family. "We saw a lot and overcame a lot, and perhaps we became accustomed to it," she says, explaining that she wanted to tell their stories even when she was told she did not have to speak about them.

That emotional weight is made harder by the fact that Huda is now living away from part of her family. She says she is living a double life, part of which is in Gaza with her husband and daughter Taleen, who have gone through days when they could find neither food nor shelter, in addition to the bombardment they have endured.

The separation is particularly painful because Taleen believes that her mother left her behind. Huda also thinks about her husband's suffering inside Gaza, away from his wife and two children.

Huda recalls the periods when Israel's forced starvation intensified, and even flour became unavailable while she was still in Gaza with her two children. She remembers the pain she felt when thinking about her husband and daughter Taleen, who were left without enough food. 

"The images of starvation being circulated, as difficult as they are to see, do not convey the full reality of what people are experiencing or the extent of their suffering," she says.

The separation has also affected Huda's son Omar. She says, "He tells me that he loves his father, but he does not call him by his name. He believes that his father left him to stay with Taleen, and my heart breaks when I hear him say this.

"He also refuses to say goodbye to anyone, and whenever he sees a plane, he asks me why his father does not come. So I think about how Taleen will feel if she sees a picture of Qamar and Omar playing in the US while she is suffering so much in Gaza."

For Huda, this separation also changes how she experiences ordinary life in the US. Speaking about living in two parallel worlds, she adds, "It is very difficult to go out here and enjoy ourselves while Taleen is in Gaza, suffering from the pain of separation and constantly asking me when she will join us. But I try to stay in touch with her and give her hope that she will see us again, so that she does not feel as though I have left her."

Wanting to return home

Despite everything that has happened, Huda says she still misses her life in Gaza and does not want to live anywhere else or even remain in the US, even though conditions there are better.

"Our country is blessed. Neighbours look after one another, and we grow our own food and eat from the land. The situation is difficult now, but as soon as reconstruction takes place, I want to return. I want to live with my family and children in safety."

Article translated from Arabic by Afrah Almatwari. To read the original, click here.